Heartprints Pets is happy to be participating in the Raining Cats and Dogs Tour featuring excerpts from works by authors Vickie Johnstone and David M. Brown.
Our first excerpt comes from David M. Brown’s Man vs Cat. Enjoy it below, then enter to win an $50 Amazon gift card by helping to spread the word about the book tour.
Excerpt from Man vs Cat
Buggles, but I’m sometimes known as the Magpie Kitten. Not because I’m a bird, though that would be awesome sauce, but because I keep stealing things. I get very excited, you see?
I’m a one-eyed dreamer, a poet (though I don’t write anything down), melodious to the tone deaf, a shiny happy person (cat!) and perennial sidekick to Charlie. He’s a bit naughty (whispers) and he wants to take over the world. Isn’t that just exciting?
Frizzy Hair. She found me online (well, a picture of me, not me personally) and brought me home. Beard Face was incredulous, but I soon realised who wore the trousers in the house. Frizzy Hair is always nice to me. Beard Face just looks down at me and when I’m alone he scowls, but when Charlie is with me, he hides behind the sofa! I’m still not sure why.
When Charlie’s around I’m supposed to say Apocalypse Now! When he isn’t around I say the Twilight films. I love those sparkly vampires, all glittery and wonderful, like tinsel on a Christmas tree. I just want to cuddle them. I have to order the films and books every week though because Beard Face smashes the DVDs with a hammer, and tears the books up whenever he finds them. I think he likes the feel of them.
When Charlie’s around I say The Art of War by Sun Tzu. When he isn’t here, I like to go for Black Beauty by Anna Sewell. I’m a black cat, you see, and that makes me beautiful. I know the book is about a horse, but I figured we’re not so different. We both have four legs, a head and a body. What more evidence do you need really?
When Charlie’s around I say Oh! It’s a Lovely War. When Charlie is elsewhere I will listen to Lady Gaga. She is so amazing and colourful, and stylish; she’s a role model to me. I can’t get enough of her; the music I mean. I haven’t actually met her yet, but I will one day. I want to show her my poker face.
Favourite historical figure?
Charlie told me to say Alexander the Great. Can I pick Mother Theresa or Florence Nightingale instead? I shouldn’t be saying this, but I once thought Florence Nightingale was the lead singer of Florence and the Machine, but it turns out I was a little confused.
Describe a typical day?
I wake up, I enjoy a wonderful English breakfast (cat biscuits), I search the house for food to pilfer, I get excited, I run around the house emitting playful screams, I think of violet teddy bears and moustachioed fairies, I eat, I dream of fluffy white clouds and angels playing harps, I attend Charlie’s daily strategy meetings, I enjoy a nice English tea (biscuits and cat meat), I hunt for more food and then I sleep
Describe the best day of your life?
My dreams all came true. That hasn’t happened yet, but one day I dreamt it did. Charlie told me I had temporarily passed out after watching all of the Twilight films back to back, but he’s just jealous of my admiration for those sparkly vampires. Gives me shivers just thinking about them and I don’t mean through fear.
Anything else to ad?
Did I just dream all this or are you actually real? I struggle to separate reality and dreams.
Mr B: I have often wondered what group of creatures are inside Buggles’ head, working the controls. Pixies maybe? Every day is one of excitement and wonder for him. You never know what his latest antics will be, but you can be guaranteed, just as with an episode of Family Guy, that it will be something random.
History has known many famous cats – Garfield, Mr Bigglesworth, Simon’s Cat, the Aristocats, the Cheshire cat and the Keyboard Cat on YouTube.
In recent years these feline things have replaced man’s best friend as the most popular pet in the U.S. while the Ancient Egyptians once worshiped them as gods. This was a mistake and I’m here to tell you why.
Man vs Cat is the story of one man, one woman and the six cats that changed their lives forever. To the woman they brought love and affection, to the man they brought sleepless nights, fear, paranoia and even ruined his jigsaw. Need I say more?
Man vs Cat on Amazon US: http://amzn.to/11QcZnL
Man vs Cat on Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/SL2oGC
David Brown could be considered a fantasy fanatic, especially since he has spent the last 10 years developing a 47,000-year history for his fictional world of Elenchera. When converting his obsession into literary form, David commits himself to a rigorous writing and editing process before his work can meet his approval. Combined with the critical eye of his wife and a BA Hons in History and English, David’s dedication leads him to his goal of inspiring readers through heartfelt stories and characters.
Enter to win a $50 Amazon gift card by helping to spread the word about the Raining Cats and Dogs book tour: a Rafflecopter giveaway